This entry is the WWW-equivalent to mailing myself my own idea in a sealed envelope to stake a claim to coinage of a term that needed… er, terming. I just googled the word “vestigiolism” and got NO hits. So when Wired or some such trade magazine needs to give credit where credit is due in a few years, consider this the source.

A vestigiolism is a noun or a verb that refers to an obsolete thing or activity that hangs on in usage to the point where it passes being an abstracted metaphor or fossilized word.

I’ve created it to foster legitimacy and shun embarrassment when saying things like, “Roll down the car window,” or “Dial 911!” Inevitably these idiomatics are said within earshot of some clever, clever boy who will attempt to bust your balls by pointing out that you do not, in fact, literally roll down a window, nor dial on your Blackberry. To this tiresome wag, you may now say, “It’s a vestigiolism, you life-draining pill.”

Then, dust off your hands with cartoonish satisfaction and be on your way. Unless you’ve called 911. You should probably wait for the ambulance.

This term may also apply to symbols. For example, clicking on a little icon of a floppy disk to save something. Depress your finger with your head held high, knowing you are selecting a vestigiolismic pictograph and you damn well know it. Then, explain to your niece or nephew what a floppy disk was and be prepared to rejoin, “No, Uncle Danforth did not ride a dinosaur to school.”